'Cut off our electricity? No problem!': Exes disagree over who will pay electric bill, ex-girlfriend won't answer texts until debt collectors show up

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Dec 14, 2023 3:00 PM EST

This breakup was pretty messy. Some breakups are simple — you just stop talking and pretend it never happened for a while. Others drag on and on, like the relationship this couple had. 

Splitting the bills as roommates seems to be a common problem that starts drama. These days, you can send a Venmo request without saying a word to your roommate. It's easy to complete their request, or request some money from them, with a few taps of a button. Because the alternative is asking them in person, which might be a little awkward. It leads to conversations where you ask them for money for the electric bill, and they mention that they bought paper towels and didn't ask you for money, and you say that you replaced the hand soap without asking them for money, and so on and so forth. You both think you're already contributing too much to the household funds. For some roommates, these money issues built resentment over time. 

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  • At least anecdotally, it seems like the more roommates are in the equation, the more complicated the dynamics become. The couple in this story was living with a third roommate, and as you could probably infer, that roommate had to pick a side when the two split. You can check out u/Alabastre's malicious compliance story below. Then, this boss docked his employee's pay, so the employee decided to take him to court. 

  • 01
    47 H HOO-DO FANF BEWE
    via Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash
  • 02
    Ex-girlfriend wants to cut off our electricity? No problem! M Hey, please tell me if this is inappropriate for the sub and I'll post it elsewhere. I was living with my girlfriend and a roommate, and we split the cost of every bill evenly, even though each bill was in one person's name. Well, that was the idea, but I naively "helped" my girlfriend pay her part of the bills (i.e. paid completely for most of them). The rent was in my name, the electricity in my girlfriends', etc.
    via u/Alabastre
  • 03
    Well I eventually got tired of her (arguments, smelly gerbils, not doing chores), and we broke up. It was messy. She took ages to move out, making sure to mooch every penny she could before leaving.
    via u/Alabastre
  • 04
    When she left, I immediately started a new electricity account in my name. A week later, I got a letter of confirmation in the mail, but I also received the electricity bill for the last three months my ex was living with us. I opened it without thinking. We couldn't even pay it if we wanted to because the bill was in her name. I shot her a text:
    via u/Alabastre
  • 05
    Me: Yo, you got the electricity bill in the mail. It's 120 bucks so come pick up $40 from each of us. Ex: Um where's the other $40? We agreed I wouldn't pay bills after I move out. (as if she did before) Me: You were still living here for the time period of the bill. , I'm not going to pay a Ex: This is thing. We had an agreement.
    via u/Alabastre
  • 06
    Me: Well... you can come over to get our part, or you can pay it alone. Ex: The way I see it, you can either bring the $120 to my place or have fun in the dark lol. Me: You got me there! At this point I realized that she doesn't know I started my own account with the electricity provider. She thought that by refusing to pay, the provider would cut our lights. Good way to mooch another $40 from us, right? But that's not quite what happened.
    via u/Alabastre
  • 07
    A few weeks later, I received another letter from elec. company with her name on it. Probably a late payment warning. I sent her a text to tell her, and she responded, "lol why are you so desperate to talk to me. You know what you have to do :)" Another letter came in for her. This one was probably late fees. I have to guess because I never opened them. I messaged her and she said, "I thought I told you to never talk to me again." As you wish, ma'am!
    via u/Alabastre
  • 08
    More letters arrived, but from a new address. I Googled the new sender's address and found that they were debt collectors. Scary stuff. It's too bad I couldn't say a word to her. Now about two or three months later, I received a phone call from my ex and I'm greeted by "WHAT THE THESE PEOPLE ARE CALLING MY PARENTS' HOUSE I'VE GOT ALL THESE LATE FEES BAAHHHH DEBT COLLECTORS." I told her if she wants our part of the bill, she knows what to do :)
    via u/Alabastre
  • 09
    Realizing that she had no other choice, she caved and came for the money. My roommate and I didn't give her a cent toward late fees, and I probably looked smug giving her my money for the last time. SO EDIT: Lots of people are saying I shouldn't have given her a cent. As u/shelchang eloquently put it: "Not paying it would be a move. Way more satisfaction in letting someone else get screwed while you play by all the rules."
    via u/Alabastre
  • 10
    catwhowalksbyhimself Honestly, what did she think would happen? It was in her name! She is just lucky that you were honest enough to switch the account to your name. You could have just left it be if you were a bad sort. But it was really stupid of her not to cancel her account at her old place. Just she just not get how those things work?
    via u/catwhowalksbyhimself
  • 11
    Alabastre OP Not to mention I was still receiving her mail, and she for telling her gave me she had a new letter.
    via u/Alabastre
  • 12
    Danemoth Which she could have easily avoided if she used an address forwarding service to ensure she got all her mail... But someone who can't pay their own bills probably wouldn't pay for that service, either.
    via u/Danemoth
  • 13
    BlakAcid I dated a girl for a couple of years and had a messy breakup as well. After we split she asked for me to help pay her credit card for the groceries she bought for us (it was only about 300$). I said I didn't have a problem paying for that provided she reimbursed me for half of the mortgage and utilities for the last year and a half (I had been paying 100% of those bills). Never heard from her again after that.
    via u/BlakAcid
  • 14
    Breakups damned if those small victories like that don't feel good. , but I'll be 3.2k Reply Share Alabastre OP I don't really tell this story in person because folks usually stop me and say, "why were you paying all her stuff?" I don't have a good answer. I was naive, I guess. Oh well, we learn. ●●●
    via u/Alabastre
  • 15
    828Ashby828 When my ex moved out he started getting notices from department of motor vehicles about his expired car tag. I messaged him about the first two letters, along with the message to please forward his mail. He didn't. So I just forwarded everything to his mothers house. I'm sure she was very proud of her son and all of the delinquent bill information he was getting.
    via u/828Ashby828
  • 16
    j13jayther Lol, I bet that destroyed her credit score as well.
    via u/j13jayther
  • 17
    m149307 You did all the right things, even if she never bothered to listen, sorry your relationship ended like that. Was a great read, and thanks for the share!
    via u/m149307

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housing malicious compliance ex girlfriend malicious-compliance-reddit debt exes bills electricity roommates malicious compliance reddit money
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